Yesterday we tried to celebrate her life. Cat feared she would not be here for her birthday, but she insisted we should celebrate her life. I believe she would have smiled on us.
It seems strange to write here now, yet many messages have come to me from people who find comfort in this page. Thank you all for your messages. The reaction has been a comfort and heartbreaking at once.
Yesterday I sat by her side with a few close friends. We shared her words and those I have posted here from others. We watched some video of her dancing, I played some music. We read poems. We talked. We cried. I failed again.
Last night I held her for the last time. I don’t remember letting go.
Among the things Cat has with her on her last journey are the words from her friends here, her last pointes, a red candle to symbolise the hundreds that have been lit by you all. She wears my collar, it was hers all along.
Cat wanted her last journey to start at dawn, she loved sunrises and sunsets.
She wanted so little.
‘Do not stand at my grave and weep’… but I wept. ‘She was my North, my South, my East and West’…. I may have been her compass, but the needle has gone.
There were a few roses, one piece of music and the poem written for her by SecretedSins. It seemed so very appropriate. “a lasting dawn…”
Today I carried her for the last time. A journey has started where I cannot lead or hold her hand.
She is gone. No amount of stardust will fill the hole she leaves behind.
She is pleasing, always and forever. My beautiful Cat is gone.